jhoote wadein

Kiske liye itna bhaagein,

Itna saara mehnat,

Jab saath dene wala rastein pe kho gaye. 

Kyu chahe kuch hasil karne ki chahat,

Jab saath dene ki kasamein , jhoot nikle

Pura duniya hasil karlete agar unka saath hota,

Par woh reh k bhi na hai, toh kya fayda woh duniya ko muthi main leke

Ek samay tha, Jab aapki bin bole baatein bhi samajh lete the woh,

Ab lafon ka bhi kya mol, Jab woh samajh k bhi na samajh ban jaatein

Yeh thodi hai dhoka sirf kisi aur ko pyaar baatne par hoti hai,

Pyaar reh ke bhi na dikhlaana, 

Wafa ka kya mol , 

Jab woh Pyaar jataye hi reh gaye

Saath rehkar bhi saath nahi hai woh,

Toh kya fayda woh waadon ka,

Jab paas rehke bhi dooriyan hai.

Isse toh ache Pyaar hi na kartein,

Vishwas Pyaar se na uth jaata

Holding for Love

Those promises spoken years ago,

To bring every happiness in your life,

Never let you a single drop of tear falling off your eyes.

To love and nurture on every step,

To hold on each other in good and bad phase. 

Why do every relationship reach a stage , where we question on our decision. 

Is he or she even our soul mate, or its just another made to believe good to be true fairy tale, we made ourselves believe.

I wish life was more easy to understand ,

Even more easy to explain what you want from other person.

Where heart aches aren't this intolerable,

Silence speaks the hidden feelings.

I wish life was more than you and me,

Less ego and more love,

Less words and more understanding 

Less I and more US

Relationships have reached that phase,

Where staying intact is more difficult,

Breaking and splitting is just another tale.

Staying loyal is rare to find,

Where its easy to find easy escape out.

Still i feel, where there is anger, there is hope,

A chance to mend the differences,

One step closer to the world you want it to be

The Relationship you wanted it be in.

Old pages Reopened

What goes around comes around. You get to cross your path with same people whom you had past with. Some with good while some with sour memories. Rightly said , always finish the chapter rather than running Shutting that page, you might not be prepared to open it in future. No matter how much you run, you have to face the challenges you wished to run 

Those scars you have been carrying for years, those faded memories you might not even remember most of it, just know how much it hurt you and you refrain to open all over again. 

When your heart acts dumb,  it's better to hear your mind as it shall always act sensible and do whats right and won't fall for the melodrama and get soft cornered. 

Some people are not meant to be in your life, then isn't it better not to keep them with you. No matter they knock the doors, even when it's tough, for you somewhere still know your heart had fell for the person and trusted for the time you were together. You want to hear the other side of the story and want to believe he wasn't wrong. May be the circumstances made him what you believed for years. 

There are huge things at stake to loose now, and I can't really play with fire, it shall not only burn you but also your present relationship and one cant afford to take that risk ever. 

Someone who wrote his heart out..

That girl with beautiful eyes ... 

She is cute...

she is wise...

Whenever she smiles it is like beautiful sun in skies .. 

I admire her good taste towards life . . 

When it wanders... 

The mind surrenders.. 

With her thoughts in my dark nights ...

I never flirt.. 

I never pursue.. 

Neither try to woo.. 

There are many girls in this world..

Princesses are very few..

If I get lucky someday.. 

I would like to spend my mornings with  you.

Nothing to fright  

Most girls are alright  

But a girl as amazing as her  

Makes your day bright  

She is great .. 

She has all my respect .. 

Either I am mistaken   

Or I am correct .. 

But  

she is too Damn Perfect! 

Redemptive Love

I read somewhere,  "Redemptive love is the redeeming of ourselves through revealing the depths of our love. Perhaps we have merely let time get the better of us, or maybe our journey has just taken us on separate paths. It doesn’t matter. What matters is expressing how we truly feel, and doing so in a way that redeems a connection that was lost."

The true question lies what's the line too draw to give second chance, to know now there is no turning back. Even when it cost hurting the person you love and being cruel and not the best of your version. 

It's better than having this silent understanding where you are unaware what that person will take the step, since once he didn't choose you but chosen himself, and you did nothing but gave that space of absence to make your presence be acknowledged. 

When he comes back opening out with the confusion deep within his mind too, where he declare he haven't chosen you yet but yet in dilemma of what to choose. And may not be sure he have made up any mind. 

You know he might break your heart all over again, now that you have hold back your broken heart and gathered all together and stood all alone all this time. May be always we would never be together, again he would choose someone else and not me. Then what am I to choose, how to fight again with that heart, though broken yet never stopped loving. How could I hold myself when he comes closer towards you. 

And how about the trust issues, how will I be able to trust him blind folded. It's not difficult to get back and act like old days, but with the fear of expiry date and this way of end where he shall just skip the whole chapter of me , one day after he wake up and realize, then what, again the whole scene repeats back. 

May be I shouldn't be with him at all, or may be I wait more till he gets sure with what he truly wants. May be it's just the temporary phase and once he gets busy he shall repeat it all over again. It's just the loneliness he want old days to not end, I just can't guess or understand.

For I know one thing, if I ask him up front, my decision shall never be to be with him. Cause he shall always choose him and not me. And play the victim card, how weak he is unlike me and he can't come out of the emotional web which he ain't ready ever. 

Is it then a redemptive love or yet time to see where it takes and just go slower and let us know, if it's also emotional connection and not just at the edge of current emotions. 

What if??

A week passed already when you decided to walk out of my life, atleast I realized that you urged to stay far from the emotional haccus from my end. 

I made up my mind to choose me and my dignity and not fall weak this time. Unlike the last time, we mend our differences, we managed to fill the gaps. We built a world for our own, no one to judge no one to interfere. A hidden yet a secluded world We called our own. I loved that even when it was so hard to be true. 

I do miss our long talks, our calls without any reasons, our texts to share every lil things in our day to day life. From morning greetings till the night stretch before sleep. Until one fine day you choose an alternative without intimating for adapting. 

The friendship in me would always want happiness for you, but how am I supposed to make my jealousness to subside, knowing those mornings are no longer just for me, those night chats are not exclusives. Every life events are been updated to someone else and just not to me. How am I still so cool about it, and can't get leverage to feel jealous about you being shared. 

Something I called my own, something that meant to me the most, I have to act so cool knowing one day you shall share a bed and may be all the comfort you had with me, you will have the nights you miss her and just not me. With our insecurities piling over, you had no justification but a vague reaction , why should I even have such thoughts. 

We were never supposed to be exclusive, we were never to mend to be together on first place, but didn't We, then why such differences and making me feel am just another friend who need to accept you having any new in your life and I need not have to be updated at all. 

I hold back to make your life easy, as you always played the victim card, you being so weak and me strong. You have to take the burden of your family as I have none. You allowed to worry and alone time, while I cannot even react. You can just walk out of my life and I still act cool and stand by you as your own. Sorry what do you call, 'good friends' so easy for you to just change the tags. 

This restlessness, this emptiness wakes me for nights so long, poor mind unaware to find a skip out. Wish my heart wasn't so fool and it grew stronger before it waits and waits till it get tired one fine day. May be that's the day i stop standing watching and waiting for a text, may be it be the morning greetings, or the meal updates just a talk that makes me belief you still think about me. 

May be not the way I do, but someday you may miss me, may not the way I feel for you, but somewhere closer to someone special you may have lost, in the fear of uncomplicating your life, in making a space for someone new, you just throw that one person who stood by you, even when you didn't wish for one. Your guide, your assistant, your partner in crime.

 Your every wish was fulfilled as if I turned to be ginnie , so I knew I shall be then trapped in that lamp. I would have never begun the first wish, the first kiss. Who knew it would turn so addicting, I would end up fallen on my knee. Regretting to drop down my wall, should have been the same old person who have been known to be the ruthless and fierless. Wish I was not thought from my heart but let the mind do it's work. 

No matter how you left me with this discomfort, I can't forget the way you made me feel special, for every day you tried going out of the way, with the lil time you had and the money you could shed. I appreciate for the efforts when you went out of the way to make me feel your someone. I may be hurt of how things ended, but won't ever say, I am sorry for I ever met you. 

I won't ever regret over that part, may be you were just till this page of my book called life. And I have to patiently waiting for the page to end and may have other page to begin and bring forth some adventure. May be or may not be, that surely time shall tell what's in the next page till then standing at the corner of the window , watching the stars and moon, hoping you might wish one night, why did I not stop her from walking my life. What would have life turned if I had chose her and not a safe option. What if I had faced the challenges, what if I had hold when she ran? What if I was still in her arms, what if? 

Lost the diamond for stones

This is the first time, I hold back even when I crossed your path. 

Knowing you would be free, and we could have just met and mend things. 

At least for the present, and may not the way I wish it should, may be some perks of patching but at what cost. 

When I was that easily replacable and it didn't even took much efforts , why mend anything. 

Once broken shall never mend the scars, it shall never be new. 

Always stay back reminding it was once broken and can be easily turned into tiny pieces all over again. This time more easily than earlier time. 

Weeks and months we spent together matching our calender against your schedule. 

But who knew one had to watch the lil detailings when time changed and you had nothing but excuses. 

That same person who couldn't spare a day without talking with me, sharing thoughts, discomfort, dishearten talks. 

Could easily walk away whole week without asking my state of mind. 

Well now am used to the excuse you have kept for future, I could have also asked, I could have had more than the revert on those greetings wishes. 

That would have cost on my dignity and It matters more than worldy gifts. 

If someone wants to be with you, they just be, they would not have second thoughts on it. 

Life ain't ever fairy tales, you won't always have good days, there would be dark clouds in every relationships, doesnt mean one needs to end and run away blaming the destiny.

Our fate is on our own hands, we can make however we want to turn our page, don't waste your energy in finding another excuse. 

May be you need, for I surely am over those lil lies am been hearing from weeks and months. Trying to shut my mind, hoping things shall turn to the sweeter side sooner. 

How can I make this heart stop beating for you, let the mind relax for a change. Don't wanna walk at the same path where I know I would be left all alone again, maybe this time I shall heal my pain more quicker than the last time. 

Sharing your work loads, atleast boasting whenever you felt low and had to run on your rat race you thought meant everything. May you win the race for you have given up on us, when you could have made other choices. Never mind, never gonna question you on your decision. 

Just let you stay back alone when you hated the most, may shall let you know, how hard it was to keep myself available when you wanted someone to talk to, someone to hold and cuddle, someone to hug and shed the load. Not everytime everyone have time in the world, you go extra mile , when you find it worthwhile. 

Ever since you left without a closure, I have nothing but the silence and lot to share feels. Earlier my love notes explained my love for you, now it shall remind you, for you had someone who truly wanted nothing but your love and time. You can hoard for lifetime may be one day you turn to those hidden letters, may the words realize my love was pure and you are now left with nothing but my silence. 

We may cross the path ahead, we have too many friends not letting us part away so easily. May be like you had always planned to part away to another city , may be that's why you always gave me hints. 

No wonder love is known to be foolish choice, you turn deaf, blind and mute, you show the real color when the love fades away. Like I promised in the start, I shall wait till I hope there is even a slightest chance for things to change. But when I walk ahead you may repent and hope but I shall not come back to you. 

No one can stop me to choose me and not the wait, the patience and hurt behind every minute watching the phone without any calls, message or standing by the window hoping you would rush back the same place we had our very last conversation. Where you still choose to stay silent and let me come to my conclusion, let me shatter for all you cared was you were left with no burdens. 

Didn't I accepted you with your burdens, if not monetarily but stood by you everytime you needed someone to hear you out. Hear all your anxiety , hold you to step back and walk towards the goal you think it is. May be I was always the shadow and had to fade in the limelight. May be we meet on an another dark cloudy nights, may you never face , but when you shall stand there all alone, see someone silently behind you hoping for your good. 

May you realize you lost the diamond while searching for the stones. Yet will hope you fetch someone whom you might love, then you might know the fear of losing someone and the urge to hold on to that person and everh efforts and madness that comes when you know you going to lose that one person you wanna spend life with.