Another fall

Everytime when i truly think of doing something good it turns against me,

even when i do something for protecting someone, not letting it ruin more.

But its way too frustrating when people turn against you and you land all alone being answerable.

I am in a very bad state at present,

where i am trying hard to move over the situation, but getting more into the problems i arised.

I am pushed into complete mental harassment, where i am ought not to think of my own.

Agreed i have ruined the most beautiful relations i had,

but now i am helpless, i am not able to even take my own decision.

I am been made realized everyday, what i have done.

Thats even acceptable, but pushing of the words of reaching to my family,

that makes me feel so unacceptable and unfair.

Later new sayings are even more scary, to ruin my life,

to make me feel horrible and myself quit everything i am upto.

I have no idea to what extent can it reach,

but i know that i cant really take much of them.

I am already in the worst mental case i can ever think of.

I am trying hard to be positive and remain calm without losing my temper,

but God forbid if something more worst happens, i would be completely helpess.

I regret that i dont have my family support,

not that they dont support, but they were never to understand me,

hard to explain with the phase i have been going on throughout my life.

And now thats turning against me, i am sorry but thats something that would make me more weak.

I wont be ever able to speak anything against them,

nor be able to see their sad faces cause of me, if that day happens,

i would rather never show my face than see their sad face.

I am praying and hoping things get better soon.

But i am already made up my mind, whats the things i would do if its gonna get more worst.

I would rather quit myself forever,

I have realized that i am been in fault for everything and thus no more troubles for anyone.

Thats the final countdown from me.