Rigid forever..

Life got lil better,
not that things changed or reverted,
its just getting in the presence of your family,
getting their love and affection, no matter how you are in trouble there is someone who is there for you,
and they give everything and anything you ask for.
That indeed made some great difference.

The worst feelings build within me,
that gradually reduced with time and attention.
Yet the repent of ruining everything is there filled and wont ever go away.
Now after returning back and joining my daily course of life.
When the decision of changing the sad subject into something powerful and positive,
there came another bumper,
some secret hints pulling me behind once again.

Not wanting anymore trauma nor happiness,
just need some peace and silence..
So living again with a humble request and hope,
that no more desires and urge of materialistic happiness.

Its hard to imagine how people move forward in getting something,
and they sacrifice everything and anything they have.
I would have to end this writing if there would be any glitch coming forward.
Cause i write only for speaking and sharing with someone,
so that ahead in life when i need to turn back,
i remember the things happened in my life
and also the mistakes of my life.
And this decision of mine would be there forever,
cause no more use of heart but only of mind..