Life's Path..

Have been trying everything to adjust new life,
get used with loneliness and darkness..
Tried giving punishments and tried to be in the dim light..
Getting away from the remaining people of my life,
forbidding myself from everything and everyone..
Having question about myself, where is my path..

What was to be done and what is done,
still have no idea hows the future.
Specially after all the mess done by me,
i doubt i would ever trust myself again..
Nor can ever expect someone to ever trust me,
perhaps that might be the very reason i am myself driving away people from me.

Sometimes seems to adapt with the changes,
but the other moment cant even bear the loss and weep for hours..
They think i did for some benefit but who knew i was in great loss too..
Never had nor would ever do intentionally,
cant prove this things though asked a thousand times.
At present away from everything still all fresh,
with a urge of getting all back..