Live Life to the Fullest...

Live your life to the utmost,

you never know whether you gonna get them ever again.

Its not the moment that's unsure but the people and their emotions with you.

Who knows, your friends turns against you,

and you never able to face the fact of being lost in dark.

Its hard to accept the fact that time change everything,

not just the people but their sides and the surroundings.

You are left with nothing but the memories deep inside you,

and remember the time of togetherness.

Its no use of regretting latter of your present time,

cause somewhere you are responsible for the loss.

Its a fact that no one is alone responsible, and time simply dont face against you.

Its your reaction with people and the patience over relation,

the dedication you show towards the relation you have.

No matter you have five or fifty friends,

but its how you deal with every individual.

I remember the wise words,

the attitude when you have nothing and everything,

decides whose gonna last with you.

I wish i used the same very thought,

learn from my mistakes and not lose more people.

Tried setting up with the past,

but cant help cause its something that i myself pushed it.

And now i have nothing but waiting for the time to settle the pain.

I regret the hurt and pain that have been caused by me,

atleast didnt wish to do with the people i love.

But now nothing left but waiting and waiting,

and not repeating them again.

And if ever possible to bring back something thats lost,

getting these old people, all over again.

Thats when i feel,

live the moment to the fullest.

Cause you never know what's with you till the end,

Cause knowingly unknowingly you would be pushed alone in life some point of time.

Leave me alone..

In life there are several mistakes that i have,

and even agreed this time, i have gone to the worst.

As that to the other punishments, this time this one is the worst of all.

Everyday to be alive and face them is no better,

to make feel that how stupid you are.

Even if i am trying hard to do things to mend everything,

its pretty hard you see..

As everytime its making me feel going more deep.

How to make people to trust me and my words,

they doubt whether i would be another problem to them.

Even after the promise to get away from their life,

even after knowing that its hard for me to do so.

Its worthless to expect from anyone,

but common atleast for once think and believe.

I am not so bad to throw away the trust once again.

Its indeed hard but you can try.

He says, everything have changed in his life,

and still nothing have reached to me and my life.

No harm no revenge for my deed.

But being isolated is even worst, being treated invisible still not trusting me.

I swear to God, this time i am done,

done from everything, make me write anything you wish,

i am just not wanting or would ever trouble anyone.

The mistake of mine wont ever be repeated, swear to anyone you need.

But please dont punish me,

whats new punishment everytime you'll wanting to give,

i am even ready to go away from everyone.

But blackmailing about my family, threatening about letting them know,

don't it seem unethical..

And today, asking me to relocate only cause i must be completely invisible,

never letting anyone know about my existence till am here,

wanting me to change everything, leave everything.

And for what making them believe that i am not in touch with them.

Keeping me in presence of someone they know,

to keep them updated about my movements, strange.

If this decision is to be executed, swear i would really get into something,

and i have no idea what it would be, but i would get out of my stable state.

May be i would feel like ending up my life, than being suspicious.

But for once they can trust me and let me sort stuffs,

all that i have to do is, explain once, mention that, its all over.

And i have hammered these words in my head, like hundred times.

And i want nothing but to get back to normal state.

I wont be back ever, wont trouble anyone,

wont be in anyones life again.

If i was the main problem of everyone, i promised i wont be there.

Even executed it, by not showing my face, not talking.

Even for punishing myself and changing me for better,

i have moved out of the normal schedule, no more enjoyment,

no more amusement, no more interested in rejoicing the life.

No more food for pleasure, or work for returns.

Infact, i have become silent, no more friends and their plans.

Skipping my meals in anger, killing myself everyday..

Please trust me, even if ever i think of coming back,

i wont really come back, wont ever be part of anyone.

Just leave me on my own, and so would i..

I wished i could have spoken with anyone,

nor can i share with my family, and see them standing by me.

In every step i take, thats what i always urged for.

Anyways, i want to be left alone now.

Please leave me alone on my own, please.

Speaking pictures

 

Pictures are so close to me..
I love to hold the incidence in pictures..
Let it be good or bad,
let it be someone crying or laughing..
Someone angry or someone enjoying the rains..

Even after ages untouched,
when you check them.. you get with those incidence all again..
you land in those same places all over again..
Those pictures seems to get life.. hearing those same laughter, tears, envy..

A desire of getting those moments all over again,
cherishing them once in life..
Being with those same old people with the same intensity..
Which otherwise wont be possible today..

People or the relation may change,
sometimes, close people turns enemy..
And sometimes, a new relation comes out of old ones..
Eitherways, all pleasures watching them all over..

With one wish of gathering them all over..
Being with those people again with same intensity..
An urge of changing the phase, going back in those times..
Repenting over all the steps taken..\

Pictures cant get them back,
but there to remind what we lost in time while running for something.
It reminds all over the times, but bring you one small feeling of trying once to get them back..
If not same intensity but small little feeling..
 

Thoughts pouring..

 

In the path of life,

when you meet someone, either it turns to be good or bad..

If good and then ends to be bad,

you may move out someday hopefully..

And if its bad, its a nightmare.

Those moments would move ahead,

and with the speed turn of time, you never know whats ahead for you..

Whats in your plate ahead?

Either you are getting more of new people,

good or bad..

But certainly, one point you would get to meet those very old people.

Now whether good or bad,

all over your decision that you had taken in life..

There comes a bang of thoughts, of memories..

They would keep reminding you of the old times spend..

Some good some bad..

But your own memories..

Wanting you feel, why are you so far away?

Far away from the truth, about some emptiness, some lackness..

Some decision, that changed everything forever,

sometime we may laugh and move ahead,

but the other time, we never know,

we cry for the rest of our life..

Repenting for our one decision..

Miss something..

 

They say i have changed alot,

no more laughter, unwanted talks, yelling, beatings..

They say i have grown matured,

no more kiddo stuffs, actions without thoughts..

They say i have been smart,

with politics, mind game, heart catching..

They say i was once a child,

filled with innocence and truth..

But feel empty..

Feel disheartened.. feel heaviness within me..

I may have done my acts without thinking much,

cant use mind games, gotta think for that,

nor politics, i never understood anything from the beginning..

But in the end i have hurt everyone..

I may be no more worth for the respect, love and care i received,

but then can't help, i am responsible for the same..

I never wanted to end so many things,

but then have to face for what i chosen..

I still remember, standing for what is needed,

for what is right..

I used to stand firmly, stood till the time it was possible..

But you know what, can't really stand if you are already wrong..

Learned one thing from my loved one,

She explained me that, if you have to hid something from someone,

its not right, its not something you must go ahead..

If you cant stand firm and proudly confess to all,

you are not chosen rightly, give a second thought..

Another thing that have got stuck in my head,

that one can make its own character,

no one can teach, or make yours, nor can immitate..

It is what others think about you,

but what you carried after all the experiences in life.

I wish i get back, the same old child,

no worries about the world,

dont need to be mature, or thoughtful..

There are people to think for you,

correct your mistakes.

I really miss those moments from my life..

I miss them all..

Love and Other Drugs

 

Have been in my list of to watch,

and finally happened to watch tonight..

Feel happy that i gave it a try of the suggestion to watch this one..

Wouldn't have connected with this one the way i can now,

Although the character of women here was never into anything more than sex,

But she knew she would create more over complication if she allowed to move ahead.

But like always, when you are restricted to do something,

thats what you happen to have in your head the most.

That made me remind that i happened to warn myself everytime,

Had made things very clear and transparent.

No strings attached...

But forgot, i am in India,

and either a guy be very good boy, or the bad one..

If its bad one, anyway i don't choose them,

but then the good one, always desire me and future with me.

I even wished the same very lines of this movie,

We need someone to be there when we need and so do we need to stand for someone in need,

We may be however worst, but in life we stop everything,

after meeting with that one person.

That one person who would change away your life,

turn  you completely new and different.

And the search of yours to meet that one person,

finally ends....

Happy ending!!!!!!

Good only in movies,sad not in real..

I even wonder does that exist..

Can someone really take all the troubles,

sacrifice for that one person and never blame or guilt for that decision.

Never show how great is he,

to prove all the deed that he did for you..

I doubt..

But anyways, this movie reminded me some grounded memories,

some gave some secret smile,

some made me realize, grow up..

Its not movie, its a real life..

Cant change the life like a movie,

cant change characters, decisions, people, everything.

Overall worth watching this movie, this late..:) 

 

Thinking way too much..

Came to know about your presence,
strange but felt the same day you are near.
But then moved away my thoughts,
cause i know we no longer stringed together.

Have accepted that we no longer together,
we cant even speak two words to each other.
Remember how you used to get better with my sigh,
and today left you all alone when you needed the most.

But even not my mistake,
there were so many people like soldiers.
Wanting me to be away from you,
like i used to ask you to be away from me for your good.
I keep hearing them all over again, but from all.

There were times when we used to hymn together,
those beautiful words expressing ourselves.
Today left with no music,
if there is just with some sad ones making me feel someone's demise.

Keep wondering how would i react if i see you in front.
Hard but this time am firmed, would ignore your presence,
would show no feelings through my eyes,
eitherways there is no more words left in my mouth.

Have been working for making myself hard,
no more opening out for anyone.
And would be only successful if i do them with you,
Thats when i am completely changed the way am trying to myself.

I had mentioned i would turn away myself into worst,
good somewhere i am reaching, somewhere away from here.
Don't know how much its good and bad,
but didnt think earlier then why now.
Lets wait and watch whats next in my plate of life.