About Me..

I am.................................
I don't really know who i am...
I am with many faces,
sometimes, sensitive and caring the other moment practical..
filled with innocence, but then know when i have to take the situation with maturity..
I can easily involve in someones life and would do everything for those ones..
Hard think much.. society.. world.. but sometimes think alot for small little things and get affected...
Simple yet complicated...
That's what i am...

That's how I am...

When I'm upset.

I shut myself down.

I have no motivation for anything.

I tell myself that nobody cares,

even though i know some do.

I think about all negative things

I could possibly think of.

I give myself  the pain.

thinking i deserve it.

I'm not sure why i do that,

but that's how i am.

Being Sensitive or Practical..

When you are in love, you care about nothing, nor do we attempt to think whats in real appropriate for us.
We are just wearing a transparent fold over our eyes, which is not ready to see anything that's coming our path;
you would be ready to quit all of them from your life, but thinking for once: whether in real would it be useful for you or just another loss.
You are simply acting a dumb person, who know nothing about life.
Love love and love.

Its good in movies where we watch couples leaving together happily with less amount of money or accepting with the limitations of the front person.
But i wish our life was just another movie, which have happy ending;
perhaps if all wishes come true, it would have brought great changes in peoples life.

Well, when you say you are ready to co-operate and make adjustment just for the sake of your loved ones, but what next, how long would you tolerate the change.
Where would you go then, where things go out your hands, whom would you then blame.
Would you move off the relation then or still hold back..

I am not against a love relation, cause i myself i am a one of the fool to believe all the love crap,
but, now when i get to ask myself, how long??
I am left with no answer.

We forget ourselves and our identity for the front person.
We forget our personal and private time for that person.
We no longer think only of ourselves, but also for that one person.

But what if that person is not worth it.
What if he dont realise your worth.

How long would you then pull over the relation,
just because of the attachment with you and your partner,
and the word called 'used to' leave you with more compromises.

But when would you realise there is a end of everything,
even your desire to adjust, and compromise,
what then?

Why cant people understand one thing, its always better to split happily rather than stay unhappily.
Its very hard in the beginning, as all those moments spend together is very hard to erase from your mind.
But then its not that you are to live together only cause you had some great memories together.
Thats past, you gotta think, what now, PRESENT
Would we have more great memories to think ahead in life.
or just live with the past moments.

Choice is yours,
Be practical and love your life,
or be sensitive and cry throughout you life.

Losing my identity being with you..

Everyone wish to get into this beautiful relation of love, where two body gets into one soul.. one beautiful relation of love.
Where both your happiness and sadness you are part of both the time phase.
Where you forget about your sufferings when you are with that single person..
That give you a strange energy to fight back all the troubles that you come forth..
Even i am wish for the same, to get that one person..
whom i can share all my feelings, my sadness and joy..
to whom i can be myself.. and not that of the world..
But i guess my wish would be always a wish..
I took your problems as mine, and stood by you..without hoping for something in return.
But i hoped a small thing.. Not some luxuries life.. but a happy feeling while being with you..
A different feeling that would make you different and special from others..
I guess you took me wrong, i dont wish for comfort just for my pleasure..
I never asked you to work hard and achieve for my sake..
Why would i expect something in return, when all the returns would be received by you and only you..
Would i get something if you get a good and stable job,
would i get something if you get a good life..
i still cant get what would i get, out of all the tears i drop for you..

Why do i get this thought that whether i am doing this right..
When you are in relation you get together and be one,
but that doesnt mean you lose your identity,
i guess you form another identity with his name attached with yours.
But here i gotta think whether you are safe, you had your food, you are happy, yours and yours only.

I have my tastes and preferences, and its indeed hard to come out of the same sooner.
But i guess only giving worldy things doesnt complete your responsibilty..
Where have i asked great things from you..
Then why do you and your act bring me tears everytime..
Dont you really see my pain and sufferings..
Not that i am loving to be with these agony.

Leaving back my work and my life i walk with you,
just for a hand to hold me while walking together..
Who asked you to push me ahead..
Who expected you to be my father,
I just want you.. Cant you get it..

I am just sick of everything.
Really..  I am tired of everything.
I am just feeling that i am losing myself somewhere.. trying to give you an identity..
Sorry if it hurts, but i am just feeling this way..

Independency always comes with responsibility..

Independence.. Being independent..
Seems to be such a wonderful feeling, where you are without any boundaries drawn by someone. Where you are the king of your life and every decision is onto you. I guess every other person desired to be independent.

Let it be a teen who want to be independent from his parents, or a working man who wants to independent from the rules and regulation from his boss and seniors. Or a passionate person who wants to follow his own dreams, but finds walls every step.

Well even i desired to be independent, where I would be recognized and my name is been known. I never appreciated when i was known by my father, nor would like if i am known ahead due to my life partner. Whatever i take decision always must be purely my thoughts and ideas. No one should keep nagging and hold me tight.
Never realized but i used to run away always whenever someone tried to put inside their palm, i used to feel i am been tied inside all those emotional bond and would have to be now this way always. And thus kept running here and there, as much far as possible.

Today, i atleast got freedom from being a family, today i stay all alone far away from my family and all my loved ones, but you know what, i am again stuck into other connections, thats the persons whom i am living with. Not that i am without independency, i am having more than i have ever expected.
But today's date i have something that i am carrying with me, thats more heavy than that bond that i kept running, i.e responsibility. Responsibility not only of myself, but my whole surrounding, responsibility of my room mates, my new good friends.

That's when i realized that although we keep running away from being dependent on others, that's always better as you are without those tension that a person have when he or she is independent, where that person keep taking all headache over to himself, and how ever he do well, but when he do something wrong, he is responsible and needs to take all credit, whether he likes it or not.

Hence i came to know, that independency always comes along with equal or more responsibility.

MY ANGEL MY LOVE

 Some people believe, there is a one
The one who points, your way to the sun.
A person they believe, makes them complete
... The one who will support, when facing defeat

'You are my angel', my one and only
My forever love, so we'll never be lonely.
You've brought to my life, all your love and care
It made me see, when I realized how rare . .
It is to meet your angel, or their lifetime one
Through you and my children, whose life has begun.

What you've done, you've illuminated my soul
It's you and your love, that has made me whole.
The feel of your love, your soft touch and caress
We're tight so close, your heart beats in my chest.

All that we have, always felt missing before
Though I love you today, tomorrow it will be more.
Our love is life, we are the strongest tree
Which will always grow forever, like you and me.

You have opened my heart and held it so dear
You are my angel and will always keep it near.
You have seen my ups and cared when I was low.
'You are my angel', I just need you to know.

You entered my life, through a ray of sun above
And when we leave, we will leave together in love
My love for you, has become my reason to be
I hope one day you'll find, your angel in me.

Lots of love baby

Why is Humanity Disappearing..?

Why is people all around filled with hatred and revenge..
Why are they with a envy an jealous..
Why are the cases of injustice increasing day by day..

There are no longer any pure relation left,
where today a child is himself killing his own parents..
where siblings kill each other- for some amount of materialistic care.

How could they forget that there were no money when they were nothing,
all were in the same ground, filled with soil and mud.
Soon as you grew older those mud turned into dirt.

Where is humanity disappearing from this world.
where are all love and affection fading.
why aren't anyone happy and content with the things one have.
where has the greed come all of a sudden.