Confused me..

Is my heart so weak, that it can never take the weight of any blame,
that guilt for which i am ready to repair everything..
When i have given the choice of my decision..
still pressed out with the pressure of losing something precious..
This is the time when i felt everything would get normal,
would get new and the time of my weeping would be pushed far away..

Even i urge nothing but a smile that last for long,
a heart that have no fear..
Not even a doubt of losing anything in life..
Just a urge of being myself..
No matter how much ever i do mistake,
i still get forgiven.. and get started all over back..

For my decision is the first priority,
my wishes are something to be fulfilled..
My tears are that precious that its measured against the thunders and the storm,
for smile against the billion dollar..

Heart is always sentimental, soft and gets emotional..
So need to get with some ending,
cant just let it keep wandering in some corner,
waiting and wanting for something..

Why why why why??

Why cant life be so easy than with so many twist and turns,
why cant everything be so simple??

All the efforts taken for getting part of another persons life,
why is it then, it cant last for ever??

The happiness we incur to get into a relation,
why does it bring with more sorrow when we are no longer into it??

The simple rule of life is, be with something that brings happiness,
but how can we move so easily from those things that brought someday happiness,
only with the reason that its no longer bringing out any bloom..

Why is it so difficult to open your palm and let things go,
when those were the things that meant badly to you..
When you couldn't be without the person even a single day,
Life bring forth with a moment when its needed to be away from him..
No matter it kills you from within little by little,
just like a slow poison..

When there were no secrets hidden from him,
every bits and pieces of thoughts in mind were been shared out,
how to keep that wandering mind out of this terror..

When things turned dark and came forth the decision to make a final call,
mind thought as practical as it should, whats the best suited for me..
But then how to make peace with this heart,
who still cry for those old us,
for those memories hidden into the heart,
every moment spend together..
Why does it tear the heart into pieces..
Why is it so difficult to make up the mind and heart..
Why why why why why why?????????????

Why does it keep bringing out tears,
which have no more meaning but only feelings,
some unsaid words, unsaid urges..
Hoping to get better, hoping to feel better..
Still wanting something from life..
Something that would stop this wandering of mind..