Losing my identity being with you..

Everyone wish to get into this beautiful relation of love, where two body gets into one soul.. one beautiful relation of love.
Where both your happiness and sadness you are part of both the time phase.
Where you forget about your sufferings when you are with that single person..
That give you a strange energy to fight back all the troubles that you come forth..
Even i am wish for the same, to get that one person..
whom i can share all my feelings, my sadness and joy..
to whom i can be myself.. and not that of the world..
But i guess my wish would be always a wish..
I took your problems as mine, and stood by you..without hoping for something in return.
But i hoped a small thing.. Not some luxuries life.. but a happy feeling while being with you..
A different feeling that would make you different and special from others..
I guess you took me wrong, i dont wish for comfort just for my pleasure..
I never asked you to work hard and achieve for my sake..
Why would i expect something in return, when all the returns would be received by you and only you..
Would i get something if you get a good and stable job,
would i get something if you get a good life..
i still cant get what would i get, out of all the tears i drop for you..

Why do i get this thought that whether i am doing this right..
When you are in relation you get together and be one,
but that doesnt mean you lose your identity,
i guess you form another identity with his name attached with yours.
But here i gotta think whether you are safe, you had your food, you are happy, yours and yours only.

I have my tastes and preferences, and its indeed hard to come out of the same sooner.
But i guess only giving worldy things doesnt complete your responsibilty..
Where have i asked great things from you..
Then why do you and your act bring me tears everytime..
Dont you really see my pain and sufferings..
Not that i am loving to be with these agony.

Leaving back my work and my life i walk with you,
just for a hand to hold me while walking together..
Who asked you to push me ahead..
Who expected you to be my father,
I just want you.. Cant you get it..

I am just sick of everything.
Really..  I am tired of everything.
I am just feeling that i am losing myself somewhere.. trying to give you an identity..
Sorry if it hurts, but i am just feeling this way..

Independency always comes with responsibility..

Independence.. Being independent..
Seems to be such a wonderful feeling, where you are without any boundaries drawn by someone. Where you are the king of your life and every decision is onto you. I guess every other person desired to be independent.

Let it be a teen who want to be independent from his parents, or a working man who wants to independent from the rules and regulation from his boss and seniors. Or a passionate person who wants to follow his own dreams, but finds walls every step.

Well even i desired to be independent, where I would be recognized and my name is been known. I never appreciated when i was known by my father, nor would like if i am known ahead due to my life partner. Whatever i take decision always must be purely my thoughts and ideas. No one should keep nagging and hold me tight.
Never realized but i used to run away always whenever someone tried to put inside their palm, i used to feel i am been tied inside all those emotional bond and would have to be now this way always. And thus kept running here and there, as much far as possible.

Today, i atleast got freedom from being a family, today i stay all alone far away from my family and all my loved ones, but you know what, i am again stuck into other connections, thats the persons whom i am living with. Not that i am without independency, i am having more than i have ever expected.
But today's date i have something that i am carrying with me, thats more heavy than that bond that i kept running, i.e responsibility. Responsibility not only of myself, but my whole surrounding, responsibility of my room mates, my new good friends.

That's when i realized that although we keep running away from being dependent on others, that's always better as you are without those tension that a person have when he or she is independent, where that person keep taking all headache over to himself, and how ever he do well, but when he do something wrong, he is responsible and needs to take all credit, whether he likes it or not.

Hence i came to know, that independency always comes along with equal or more responsibility.