Just for you.. Mamma..

Mama..

I want to confess many things to you today, that i may have never shared with you.

Mama, you are the most beautiful women i have ever seen, so simple but the way you carry yourself i am sure its because you are so pure.
Mama, Are you a mind reader??

No, till now i have never understood how do you understand me so well. You catch my lie, you know what i want at a particular moment, how come mama??

Mama, you know me so well, all my needs and my desires.

 I have never asked  for anything but still you give me that i might be even wondering for.

Mama, you have always protected me from dada's scolding.

Always took all mistakes over you.

Why Mama, why??

Mama, How do you know how am i feeling?

I never disclose it with anyone not even you, then how catch my mood..

Mama, i am really sorry!!

As you had to hear so many things because of me.

Am sorry for i broke your trust,

I really didnt meant of breaking your heart.

It's all because of this age that makes me do something that is not right, but in our world of teens it's all a matter of trend.

Mama, i never want to grow so big that i have to think ten times before i do anything,

From where did the society came in between.

I miss those times when i used to have so much fun with dada and you at our shop,

When i didnt really had to think what our neighbors would think.

I even didnt knew that once i am getting mature i can't walk with my father, not even my cousin brother. I am bound not to talk with guy friends.

I really can't understand all this mama.

Mama, i am really tired about all the gossips people speak about me.

Mama i really didnt wanted you to get hurt by all these,

But i guess i have not done anything the way they place it in front of you.

Mama i thank you for moving out of the things they tell..

But why in the beginning even you have a second thought.

Mama, all girl dream about a dream prince of their life..But why am i not even allowed to think about it.

Why am i not even worth to get one.

Mama, although you dont have much time but i am happy that you try to remove time for hearing my thoughts. I never told you mom but i feel very happy when you say good about me, so proudly to your friends, it really motivates me mama..

And when you sit in front of me when i explain you something, i feel so warmth.

I cant and wont' ever show my feelings for you, but mama i have always thought about you, and i still remember each and every thing that you dreamt for which you have not got till now, mama i am not the person who speak alot as i believe in getting things done rather wasting time in saying.

Mama, am working hard for that day to come when i can make you feel proud of me. Where people wont' be able to say anything to you and you have to keep quite by hearing all such craps.

Thank you for everything mama,

Just one request always be the same mama, always remain this way..

A Girl's View about Marriage..

Marriage is always a beautiful dream for a girl, throughout her life she dreams about her life after her marriage obviously she would be leaving back her whole life she has accustom, her whole bunch of memories, her lovely relations with her family, she's going to miss those freedom that she had at her fathers house.

It's so easy for a guy to marry, it's simply adding another member in his family but for a women it's leaving back her family and walking ahead to a new family. Without knowing much about the person his nature, his past she holds his hands. Its all about a fate of the girl to get a good husband. No matter you had a dis- functioned family and your first half life not so good went  but the other part is something that matters more as this part would be staying with your last breath. But as nothing but your destiny is responsible for she decides your whole future.

My sister is married, it's almost been 2 years and amongst these years she might have barely come eight to ten times at home. It's so hard to accept that our family is lessen and her emptiness would be there throughout the life. We have spend and shared all our happy and sad days together, we have gathered all memories in each and every corner. There in this bed we fought with pillows, there in the corner she fell down while chasing me. There in kitchen showcase there is a cup which we both used to fight to use. 

There are so many words that we used as a code word for not letting mom know what we speaking. So many secrets that we share with each others that our parents are not even aware. Our first crush, all those proposals that we get, confusion about some decisions that we cant share with our parents. So many things like that are there that we both share and now with this marriage we are far away.

Now, we hardly time to speak about our daily on going, forget about our secrets. It's so strange that i still take you are my secret sharer and you already got another sister who started sharing with you. She might be so lucky, huh, before she had one brother and now she also got sister-in-law. But she also have to lose this gift one fine day. 

Actually i feel this rules are so unjust, we leave our family, we have to adjust to new surrounding, and we have to loose our parents shelter where we spend our whole life. 

So unfair.. Still we all wait for this day.. 

Marriage..!!

Running All our Life..

 

 

From the beginning when we learn to talk, we are back of loads of desires and wishes. 

In school life, we desire to jump to college, where we need not wear uniform, and we are not bound with restrictions.

Once we get into college, and we feel like working,where we would earn some amount of money along with independence. When we starts working and we are filled with loads of responsibilities and lack of everything. We marry and there we come across with more responsibilities,wife / husband.. child... 

There we desire for just having a retired life, where there wont be hardly any work, just peace all over. But that stage is not either as simple as it looks, we get into loads of pains and suffering, moving over the days with medicines and support of our infants, just desiring for a death.
Throughout our we keep running back of something or the other, where is the time to enjoy, from beginning we have read that Time Once Gone Doesn't come Back,yet why dont we implement it before we get too late. Why??
Mostly we find people running back for fame, hey i myself keep running, but the thing is what next,once we reach, is that what is the aim of your life??
You keep achieving your goals and there is no time to enjoy the beautiful life, then whats the use of such life. People keep earning, it's good, but they have no time to enjoy those earning, hey dont you feel its equal of a person who have nothing to spend.
What is the use of that money when you cannot spend with your child, you cannot enjoy your child's growth. What is??
It's never that late huh, lets forget our past and start with a new pace..

I Wish...

I wish i was a child again,
Unaware of grief,sadness,hurt.
Where "Hurt" was when i felled and injured my knees.
Where "Sadness" was when i didnt get an apple.
Away from the pain of loosing someone truly dear,
Away from the grief of not achieving the ever growing desires.

I wish i was a child again,
I could have expressed my true feelings,
Pure and honest.
Not bothered with the thought, "what would he think if i say this"
As i would have never thought twice before i spoke,
Like a child who say whatever his heart feels like.

I wish i was a child again,
Who easily forgive and forget things,
Don't take memories alone with him,
Forgive and forget easily,
Never with ego or attitude.

I wish i was a child again,
with unconditional love.
Not jealous about anyone, nor measure his love.
He's loves equally to everyone.
His arms be open to embrace everyone,
Nor thinking of which relationship do you have with others.
Nor bothered which caste are you of.

I wish i was a child again,
who could cry and open his heart.
Without bothering what would people around him think.
I wish i could jump, laugh, cry, enjoy each and every moment,
Without thinking about anything, just feeling my emotion.

I wish i was a child,
who sleeps without any thoughts in his mind.
With lovely bedtime stories from his grandmother.
I wish i could hold my teddy bear and sleep along with him.
I wish i could sleep till the time i want,
not bothered about the office or anything.
Just excited about tom's cricket match or the cookies that mother would make.

I wish i was a child,
who play day and night,
not bothered of injuring himself,
nor bothered of the complexion that would get spoiled.

I wish i could get my wish come true.
I wish.....

A Ray of Hope

I was busy with my office work when i got stunned with the noise of crackers, that was when i realized that Diwali is here. Diwali is indeed a festival of lights, happiness and bring along loads of memories. Just by realizing that Diwali's about to come, i was blown back with my memories. Can say i lived my whole life reversing those moments of my life.

Never had realized that i would be starting my new life with the flare of this festival, i even never realized that i might fall in love with someone i have always dreamt, till the day my destiny put me in front of him. We were just another teen and like the thoughts of Love at First Sight, we were attracted towards each other. This attraction was pulled more deeper when we surprisingly were in same college, everything was so like those lovely fictions that i used to read and would move back to a corner of mind.

Our relation begun one year later of our first meeting and even that was at Diwali. We were one of the best couples in our whole colony, how couldn't it be, it was meant to be. We moved to another level of relation, we were bound to take responsibility, things really changed when we knew what's love. 

How can i not forget the day when you came with your family with an excuse of Diwali sweets and asked my hands. But things weren't supposed to be so smoothly, dad didn't agreed. But we were also hot blood how could we stay away from each other. It was at Diwali we married running away carrying all the expectations of life to be so perfect. Things really changed for we were leaving a life we ever dreamt of.

We were blessed by another Diwali with a lovely baby and named him Deep, we three used to enjoy each and every moment. We almost shared together eight years and today the ninth year, but things are no more the same manner. Its almost three years we are not celebrated together any occasion, Deep is still small so he is not with feelings about his moments with his father who is no more with him. Yes! We are separated its almost three years we are no more together, it's another year without him. With this occasion where we begun with our memories, we shared our best of times together and now its this occasion which is bringing out with the feeling of lonely, repentance and also a hope of getting back my old days. Hoping that by next Diwali we are back together.

A letter to a father..

Dad..!!

You love me..??

From my childhood i have seen you with a pride,

I feel very lucky to have blessings of a father, lucky than the others who thrive for one.

We hear many story's of father killing his own baby child, am thankful for you letting me born and live this life to the fullest, you gave me everything that a child wants,

Food, Clothing and Shelter.

Isn't this a basic requirement to be alive.?

But dad you have forgotten to give me one thing,

Time, Love, Care..

Dad i don't have much knowledge about the world so i might be wrong in counting all this elements for living a complete and a happy life.

You have given all the things i needed, when i asked for any materialistic things, you always tried your level best to give me.

But dad you forgot to give me your time..!!

You were so busy in collecting money, it is indeed needed especially in today's time of inflation. But then dad don't you think we are loosing those special moments of life.

My childhood, My small little happy days that wont ever return back.

Dad, do you love me??

Why cant you just utter these three magical words to me, i am your own daughter, right??

Dad i really wanted you at many a times,

At the time of my first day of school and also at the time when i had met with my first defeat,

When i wanted your shoulder, where were you dad??

You tell  me to share with you anything wrong that would ever happen with me, but dad what about those good things that happen with me, when can i share with you.

We have one day out of the whole week when we sit together, then how do you remember about your friends.

Am i not your friend, you only said that you are to be my best friend, then??

Dad, do you care about me??

I still remember you have mentioned that i must share with you, but dad don't you think you have little far from me, it is this cell phone that connects us. Atleast Nokia is successful by really Connecting People.

Dad do you even remember, the last time we all went out for a family togetherness.

Dad, do you trust me??

Then why do want to check my phone, why do you have troubles when you find my phone waiting.

Dad what can i do, i am all alone at home,

I have never told you but i feel very bad to be here alone, I feel that i am in a cage with four wall, food to eat and air to breathe.

Dad, do you feel happy when i achieve success?

If its true then why don't you tell me one good word, why don't you say good words before i leave for my competitions, that you trust me and you know that i would achieve success and it's alright if i don't win as victory is not all that matters, just give your best.

Dad, are you happy watching me alive in this world?

Mama had told me that i had very less chance of living when i was about to born, if you are happy then why don't you tell me, why do you say that no use of feeding all this people.

Why do say that i cant do anything in life and i would be marrying to a person who would want me to be a housewife.

Why dad??

Don't you think that your daughter can do something more than just marry and conceive a child.

Is it all for a girl??

Dad, do you feel ashamed to get a girl child??

Then why don't you encourage me in moving ahead in life, why do you just think about people and society. Have this world and the people fed me, gave me this life.?

Then dad why to think about all those people, dad they will keep telling thousand things but dad you know me right?? You know my heart??

Dad, i can fight with all the world, but can't win anything if i don't have you and your support.

Dad, why do you feel that i would leave you, how can i forget that its you who gave me this life, dad i might be angry with you but dad i really love you, i love you so much that i can leave all my happiness just and just for you.

Dad i have wanted nothing but your love and faith in me,

I assure you dad that i would never let your name fall down, never dad.

But i just want is your hand, your assurance that you would be at my back when i fall..

You would give me your shoulder when i feel weak,

Dad do you love me?? 

I would spend my whole life with a wish that you would say this three magical words to me.

Dad i am hoping that you realise this very soon, before the time pass by and its too late,

That i have always wanted your time, your care, your love, i can stay without all the pleasures of life but just with you.

Yours,

Daughter

Father-Child Relation......

Father, Dad, Papa..

Many names of your first hero of every child..

Although it is mother whom we have a different attachment.. But a father plays another important role in everyone's life..

It is he who holds your small little finger and try to make you walk..

It is he who knows your want and get it for you, no matter he have to take a extra effort, he would move all the world to get that thing for you, not that he loved, but he wanted to see one smile from your face..

A father is indeed stronger than a mother and show that he have a stronger heart.

Then why do his heart start pumping when he sees a tear in your eyes,

Why doesn't he get sleep at night watching you in tension.

He never talk freely with you show that he is another Hitler, then why do he ask your mom from behind about your life.

When he don't encourage you for any competitions then why do he turn happy watching your success,

Why do he praise you from behind to the world, cant he just say one word to you?

If he is so strong then why do he shed tears even thinking about your marriage, even the thought of going far away makes him weak, why??

He might never speak with you much, but how does he know what's going in your mind?

You can cheat your mom once but how do he catch your lie?

If he is so understanding and soft like a candle why cant he show it with you,

Always try to show that he is not bothered about you, but in real you are his life.

Why is a father so complicated to understand?

Why??

Present or Future..??

PAST AND FUTURE..!!

This is where we be throughout our life, either stuck back to past or all the way think about the future and in both the sense sit and cry. This is not yours or my story but this is how most of the people do, we waste our whole damn life in wondering about our past and all the mistakes that we have done and for sure recollect our defeats and stay back without even trying for once. Or else we would be busy to make our future safe to an extent we actually forget our present.

Why can't we stay at present rather being in between this two opposite poles. Why cant we just move ahead of our past, no matter our past have been the night mare but this for sure it cannot be changed, right?? Then why not just move out of it. Ohh my God..!! This is what happened in my life and this had destroyed my life.. Fine i agree it had but that had happen, you had to suffer at that time but why just kill ourself every day thinking about all those things and staying back.

Instead of that keeping those thinks in some corner of our mind, if possible just excluding like some piece of paper from your book of life. And never returning back to those dark shade of life. This is indeed easy to say but it would be also easy if we actually start implementing it in our life.

Small example, one of our buddy had cheated you for some point of time and after a long time you meet him now it would be useless to sit afar remembering all those days and bring out the hatred rather start it from the scratch, this would not only save your day from spoiling but also would make him realise it. And this is very well phrased that even after you are right and you forgive the person if not today but some part of the life he would realise it. It might not be useful for the present might be you wont be able to control but atleast this hatred wont come along with you throughout your life.

And when we say about our future, future is not at all in our control and ruining our present only by wondering about our future is nothing less than knocking at a wall without door. You wont find anything expect confusion and mystery. And you might spend your whole life trying to open the door, instead of enjoying that mystery and living your present.

It is pretty harsh fact, but the day we realise and accept it, that would be the day of your victory and you would be a completely different person.

Find your hidden talent..!!

Talent and creativity go hand in hand..

What is talent all about..??

People are either born with some special talent that make them so different from others, and there are also some talent that you can brush throughout your life. But most of the time we are so lazy that we even don't bother to see our own hidden talent and label our self as nothing more than a normal person.

And if at all you are lucky enough to have a well wisher who would help you to find your talent that you never even realised that it exist. Otherwise you and your talent all in waste throughout the life.
Our life keeps moving like of others but what makes us different and satisfied is this talent that we have in us, that bring in us a different person with a great satisfaction that we might not even get with whole world's materialistic.
There is a well expressed talent like singing, dancing, acting and so on which can be known without much trials, even artist including painter, speaker, and all such variety of talent existing all over world. But what is so irritating is that people just try to find and shape their talent and live a life which they are not even worth it.
There are some people who identify their talent but hide it from all only because they are shy and feel unaccepted and till the time the guilt reach to the brim their life is half finished.
There are some people who know about their talent even have confidence but stop exploring their talent only with some bad experience that force them to think that they must leave a life that they are not even worth it.
To all the people, just one request, never loose any opportunity that come by your path, and if you have a talent just explore it to the brim and never let guilt come near you. And if you have already lost chance keep trying as one fine day you would be at the path you wished to be.
For life is full of surprises and anything is possible, all that we have to do is just wait and watch..

Imagination or Practicality

Who are you..?? 

Living in imagination right from an existence of prince all the waiting for you and including all the things that is not really possible but just because of your imaginative mind, you believe it to be true one day. Or are you a person who are much practical and believe all that happens, happens for a reason and that too because of you and your hardwork.

This two extent of imagination and practicality is something that cannot ever walk hand in hand. As either one of them keep fighting each other making the other prove fake. I myself one example of total confused person who believe in both imagination and also know that world is all about practicality and if one have to exist in this world he/ she have to be much practical.

With the approach of believing this practical life we are indeed would reach to our goal, but what next is it the end, would it really bring happiness.? Would you actually get that inner happiness that you got when you were in your imaginative world. Money is the first reward of practical mind set but it is just a part in your life, one cannot survive the whole life with this factor.

Is it really enough..?? 

There are times when this money factor make us helpless and this is the main reason of molding people into a strong individual but then later at some point why do we feel to look back to that part of our life when we were happy even with the little of happiness. Where this materialistic was not bringing happiness but the true happiness. When there was togetherness with your dear ones, when you were happy by imagining about the world you wanted, but now that you are actually living a life that you wanted you still not happy. 

Why??

Then what should one really choose be practical and achieve all the worldly happiness and sit alone in the top seat. Or be with your heart and get little happiness still lasting ones, with loads of respect and care and the most- a real love.

You choose what really matters to you..!!

You, yourself and Your Confidence

Having Confidence and retaining your confidence till the end is what decides your future taking to two distinct place- Success or Failure..

Today i am almost 20 days far away from CAT and i am having all sorts of mixed feelings, it's pretty normal for all the students appearing for this years CAT, when we meet people with same goals and interest and also find them more serious than you are and get to know your level it's scary at times. 

I am getting coaching from one of the best coaching for MBA entrance exam and what matters here is how well you grasp all that they discuss, it's pretty advanced as they don't really care whether you know with the basics or no, it's their motto is to finish their portion.

But what has happened is that this institute have actually tensed many average students who eitherways find it pretty difficult to clear and get into one of the best MBA colleges and when these coaching institute pour out with all the limitations and all the mediums of making you realise where you really stand, at times it is pretty difficult to cope up with your self confidence that you had before you join up.

I can't say i am prepared for the CAT and all the entrance exams that about to come in short span but all the request to all those who are appearing and would appear, have confidence in yourself and your decision of studying further in management line, and believe in your goals and move ahead without letting such coaching centers and all those people who think twice on your caliber, you really cannot guess your efforts and your luck can push you in IIM and such great institutes of India and even aboard.

All the very best...!!!