Leave me alone..

In life there are several mistakes that i have,

and even agreed this time, i have gone to the worst.

As that to the other punishments, this time this one is the worst of all.

Everyday to be alive and face them is no better,

to make feel that how stupid you are.

Even if i am trying hard to do things to mend everything,

its pretty hard you see..

As everytime its making me feel going more deep.

How to make people to trust me and my words,

they doubt whether i would be another problem to them.

Even after the promise to get away from their life,

even after knowing that its hard for me to do so.

Its worthless to expect from anyone,

but common atleast for once think and believe.

I am not so bad to throw away the trust once again.

Its indeed hard but you can try.

He says, everything have changed in his life,

and still nothing have reached to me and my life.

No harm no revenge for my deed.

But being isolated is even worst, being treated invisible still not trusting me.

I swear to God, this time i am done,

done from everything, make me write anything you wish,

i am just not wanting or would ever trouble anyone.

The mistake of mine wont ever be repeated, swear to anyone you need.

But please dont punish me,

whats new punishment everytime you'll wanting to give,

i am even ready to go away from everyone.

But blackmailing about my family, threatening about letting them know,

don't it seem unethical..

And today, asking me to relocate only cause i must be completely invisible,

never letting anyone know about my existence till am here,

wanting me to change everything, leave everything.

And for what making them believe that i am not in touch with them.

Keeping me in presence of someone they know,

to keep them updated about my movements, strange.

If this decision is to be executed, swear i would really get into something,

and i have no idea what it would be, but i would get out of my stable state.

May be i would feel like ending up my life, than being suspicious.

But for once they can trust me and let me sort stuffs,

all that i have to do is, explain once, mention that, its all over.

And i have hammered these words in my head, like hundred times.

And i want nothing but to get back to normal state.

I wont be back ever, wont trouble anyone,

wont be in anyones life again.

If i was the main problem of everyone, i promised i wont be there.

Even executed it, by not showing my face, not talking.

Even for punishing myself and changing me for better,

i have moved out of the normal schedule, no more enjoyment,

no more amusement, no more interested in rejoicing the life.

No more food for pleasure, or work for returns.

Infact, i have become silent, no more friends and their plans.

Skipping my meals in anger, killing myself everyday..

Please trust me, even if ever i think of coming back,

i wont really come back, wont ever be part of anyone.

Just leave me on my own, and so would i..

I wished i could have spoken with anyone,

nor can i share with my family, and see them standing by me.

In every step i take, thats what i always urged for.

Anyways, i want to be left alone now.

Please leave me alone on my own, please.