A "Daddy's Girl", I'll never be.
I'm not sure why but it seems my father just doesn't know how to be a father. At least not to me. He's a great uncle, brother, but father seems to confuse him to no end. I use to think if I was just smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough, that maybe, just maybe he'd notice me. He never did.
My one flaw was I was born a girl. I guess being born a girl wasn't what he wanted. He hasn't remembered my birthday, well that was not the same when it came to his birthday, Christmas presents, birthdays, all the special occasions when there would be something from "daddy" was my mom's doing. She didn't want me to be left unwanted. I've come to grips with it but it still hurts & I still find myself trying to be perfect so that no other man I love will ever find me lacking.... like my father does.
I know it's stupid, but a woman needs to know her daddy loves her. It can screw up her whole self image & the way she looks at men & the world when he doesn't acknowledge her or even care enough to spend the time getting to know her.
But i have been running all my life proving myself, with a hope that atleast one fine day he would notice that even i do care for him. And what he feels about a girl, a women- whose not fit for anything but household chores. I really want to prove him that we are more than that, although one fine day we have to get married and go to another house. But we ourself can make our identity.
We have kept your name attached with ours and later our husband's but that's not because we don't or cant but we love you more than you think we can.
Well, i really hope you understand what you have done to my life, cause its all because of you, i cant trust my own self, and hate 'male' community itself. I have kept fighting with them and all the world trying to get a stand of my identity.
Sorry but although you have given me your name, but that's not what we need- we need a support, love and care. A trust that whatever the life shows us- my father: the first man of my life was, is and will always be by my side.
Alas!! I have been all alone. But really i am tired now, cause i have tried my level best to be someone you wanted. But dad, however i try to show my love i am sorry but i cant be daddy's girl.
TO ALL THE FATHERS OUT THERE READING THIS, LOVE YOUR KIDS. SPEND TIME WITH THEM. LET THEM KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT MAY HAPPEN BETWEEN YOU & THEIR MOTHER, YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM. IT'S IMPORTANT......... MORE IMPORTANT THAN I CAN EVER EXPRESS THROUGH WORDS. BE THERE & ALWAYS CARE ENOUGH TO LEARN WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THEM! THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN FOR A SHORT TIME BUT HOW YOU DEAL WITH THEM CAN MARK THEM FOR LIFE. MAKE SURE IT'S A GOOD MARK. PLEASE!
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