My life seem to be so out of order, just like sand on my palm, slowly falling away from me.. the more i hold- the more its going out of my hand. I am totally helpless even after knowing whats happening.. All my life i kept weeping for what i don't have and for what i never got, but when today i stand in front of mirror and try to look at myself, i just see a person who have been hurting people only for her own comforts. When she needed a support she hold the person's hand but when she felt she can handle all by herself she has left the hand and moved forward.
Yes, i know that's very bad but i am still helpless, cause that's something that even after knowing its out of my control.. As i never realize, weeping for what i didn't have.. i also lost what i have been losing..
Now when i turned back, i just realized what beautiful moments i had and everytime i got closed with those moments i kept running away, have really no clue why and for what.. Might be.. i am like a serpent.. who kill the person after getting close..
I have given people happiness.. made them feel that they are most special person in the whole world.. and one fine day.. i just leave them all by themselves.. Might be its because of the fear that i would loose the happy moments.. or might be i am not ready to take the happy moments turning into sad ones..
This post wont make much sense, cause again i have done the same thing and even this time i have no clue why and what will i get doing it.. Sometimes i feel its better not to let anyone get in part in your life.. No one would come in your life.. so obviously no one would get closer.. and give me a fear of losing everything.. which in the end, would force me to do some stupidity and move out of the persons life..
Today i might be walking firmly and climbing the steps of success that i had planned on my head, but within me i have been left with nothing.. i miss that innocent girl who knew nothing more giving love to all.. that person who never said no to anyone and cared with all her heart..
I really have no idea whose this girl in front of the mirror, might be another worldly person.. there was a time when i was trying to know the world to fit in it.. as everytime i used to misfit because of my nature.. but today i guess i am very well fitting with the world.. They have really turned me into the cruel me..
Yes, i know that's very bad but i am still helpless, cause that's something that even after knowing its out of my control.. As i never realize, weeping for what i didn't have.. i also lost what i have been losing..
Now when i turned back, i just realized what beautiful moments i had and everytime i got closed with those moments i kept running away, have really no clue why and for what.. Might be.. i am like a serpent.. who kill the person after getting close..
I have given people happiness.. made them feel that they are most special person in the whole world.. and one fine day.. i just leave them all by themselves.. Might be its because of the fear that i would loose the happy moments.. or might be i am not ready to take the happy moments turning into sad ones..
This post wont make much sense, cause again i have done the same thing and even this time i have no clue why and what will i get doing it.. Sometimes i feel its better not to let anyone get in part in your life.. No one would come in your life.. so obviously no one would get closer.. and give me a fear of losing everything.. which in the end, would force me to do some stupidity and move out of the persons life..
Today i might be walking firmly and climbing the steps of success that i had planned on my head, but within me i have been left with nothing.. i miss that innocent girl who knew nothing more giving love to all.. that person who never said no to anyone and cared with all her heart..
I really have no idea whose this girl in front of the mirror, might be another worldly person.. there was a time when i was trying to know the world to fit in it.. as everytime i used to misfit because of my nature.. but today i guess i am very well fitting with the world.. They have really turned me into the cruel me..
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